One of those

Please tell me why it is that I always feel like writing when I'm down. Seems to me that I would throughly enjoy writing when I was happy as well.
So tonight. Tonight I'm quite obviously down.
I shouldn't be. I have a great life for the most part.

I have a 3.981 GPA. I'm a junior in college and I might possibly be able to graduate early.
I have the most amazing, supportive family.
I have the greatest man in the world at my side.

So why is it that a fight can get me down like this?
Why is it that its 2am and I'm sitting up not being able to sleep?
I don't know.

There is no point at all behind this. No point in my writing tonight. Tonight is just one of those nights. One of those nights when I need someone to listen to my nothings.

One of those.

25

I sat down at the computer today and thought about my long lost blog. I thought about how it felt to put my feelings down as words. And I thought about how I'm not quite ready to express my feelings over the last few months; however, as pointless as it may be--I did feel like writing.

Facebook has a little game going around where you put down 25 random facts about yourself and tag 25 people and hopefully they will do the same. I don't intend on tagging anyone. Obviously.

1. I'm doing my absolute best to graduate with my bachelor's degree a year early--I hope to be accepted into some kind of accelerated program so that I can get my master's within at least 2 years.
2. I am a psychology major, but I have no idea what I want to do with that. My initial plans were based around psychiatry but I realized I have no place in medicine. I have no real desire to simply be a psychologist. I am playing around with the idea of social work--which is what I usually come back to when I deviate even a little.
3. Even though I do not currently want to be any kind of counselor--I picked psychology so that I would be able to understand mental disabilities and disorders. I have several brothers who have suffered from disorders and I wanted to be able to know how to interact with them--How to be the best sister I could be.
4. My brother Ben--the main reason for my interest in psychology--passed away November 23. My interest in psychology has not faded. That makes me believe that psychology was really the right choice for me. Sometimes I feel bitter when I learn a little bit more about the mental disorders he had. I wish I could have known more before (They were not the cause of his death).
5. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend. We have not known each other as long as it feels, but I do know that it is right.
6. I have odd food cravings that come from nowhere. Today I'm craving granola with vanilla yogurt. No raisins please. I haven't had granola in about 7 years.
7. My dog Napoleon is one of my biggest joys.
8. I can be stubborn. I do not like when things do not go my way.
9. I have an irrational hate to being late or having to wait. I get aggitated even waiting 5 minutes.
10. I love the dentist.
11. Reading is a passion. There is nothing better than being beside a pool in my bathing suit reading a good book.
12. I can not sleep in socks.
13. I drive a blue sunfire--which usually is decorated with my school books, notebooks, and papers. They practically engulf the backseat.
14. I finally convinced myself to run at least 5 days a week.
15. I tutor the general psychology classes.
16. I haven't painted my toenails in months.
17. I can not wait to have children. Of course I will wait. I want to be married a few years beforehand. I do not care if I have to stay up all night for months--I really can not wait.
18. I fully intend on marrying Chad.
19. You will never find a greater mother than my own.
20. You will probably never find a pickier eater.
21. I love living in my mountains. I love my town. I love mainstreet--with the historical buildings and antique stores.
22. Dusting is the worst chore imaginable-mostly because of the fact that I love picture frames, candles, and literally every other kind of decoration that gathers dust.
23. I need a job--something that pays a LOT more than my little tutoring position. I've always dreamed about working in a bookstore--I applied to several--never got a call back.
24. I realize that life is not fair in many aspects. I know to not live in my regrets and to fight for my smiles.
25. In the last year I've lost 2 grandparents and my brother. My brother was sick for 9 months before he died. And it was in those 9 months that everything went wrong. My papaw on my mom's side died in April. My grandmother on my dad's side died in October. It has been a rough year.