Distraction

Perhaps this is my attempt to think of something other than my brother.

Perhaps I'm simply trying to vaguely justify my own stupidity, but what if you don't take that chance--whether its because you're scared or broken or both--and that chance would have been the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to you? That small fraction of a chance is far too inticing for me to not give in to it and thats whats hurt me before. I tend to fall for the perfection of the moment. The perfection in the isolated instances that you hear about or read about where someone risks it all and winds up with their own happily ever after. Which leaves me sitting here waiting on my happily ever after.

I'm not so unrealistic to believe that it will just happen on its own...but I do believe in fate and miracles. I believe in the good things in life.

I was attempting to classify myself earlier today...and quickly discovered that I can't. Its far to contradictory. I can't simplify my thoughts and feelings into a few words..even if that makes it easier to understand.